Updated: Apr 9, 2019
I love learning about people. One day I was in a bar when it suddenly hit me, I could see for the first time how people would gather into their own little circle of friends. There were the loud ones, the quiet ones, the daring ones, the ones who didn't want to be there but felt they had to be and so on... I was immediately taken back to my school days and could see these adults as if their were children and the surprising thing was, nothing had changed except for some were a lot hairier, they were taller and wore bigger clothes! But as for behaviours, nothing had really changed!?
I was fascinated by this and began to read books such as Psycho Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz and so on...
I learned (and I'm sure you are already aware) that our experiences between the ages of 0-6yrs old (some would even argue pre-birth) are responsible for 95-97% of the decisions we make in our adult lives? That tomorrow has already been planned out for you. We call this part of the mind - the Subconscious Mind. The Good News is that you can change it :)
Of course, we also have other experiences through life that help to confirm and strengthen a belief - especially negative ones. As you go through life gaining these experiences and re-affirming the ones that you may have forgotten, what you thought you already knew and then some - neurons within the brain actually thicken. This happens for both negative and positive beliefs.
When neurons thicken they create our habits, traits and behaviours. These thickened neurons go on to create our belief system. Some beliefs are easier to break the others. Easy ones are things such as; learning gratitude every morning before you get out of bed, whereas some beliefs are much more deeply routed and therefore a lot harder to change. So, more difficult beliefs to break are; our names, naming different colours and language etc...
There are other ways that we learn to be true such and can become a 'thing' such as; shocks and traumas. If they are strong enough and have a big enough effect on us they can then form into major fears and phobias.
When we reach adulthood we tend to forget about the root cause, the event that happened to create this belief in the first place, we have, through our lives, learned to look for other events that have a similar affect on how we feel without even realising we have experiences that remind us of what happened when we were very young - the root cause.
Of course, as I have just stated we also have new experiences as adults which can create the same set of fear, phobias and beliefs, and this is where you would begin investigating on a deeper level. If you do not understand something about why you feel the way you do, you may wish to go a little deeper. Of course, there are times where this is best done with a professional therapist such as an EFT Practitioner (Emotional Freedom Techniques) as they tend to work more on an energetic be in tune with clients and can get to and resolve the route causes of an issue more quickly.
The reason EFT (Tapping) is so effective is that it sends calming signals to the Amygdala part of the brain where your flight, flight, freeze responses are held. This then enables the client to gain access to experiences that would otherwise trigger the Amygdala.
So, you see not all of what you believe is true. It is simply that you have come to believe something in a particular way built upon whatever you experienced from the past.
So, when you are having a bad time, when you are thinking you are not good enough or that there seems to be no way forward, just remind yourself that the way you are feeling right now is highly likely to do be related to an event that hasn't yet been emotionally cleared fully.
Again, the proof in this is in how you feel about a particular experience.
So, in closing, please remember;
The reason that you cannot is not because you can't, but rather because you have come to believe you can't. When you are living in fear, it is not because everything is dangerous, but that you have come to believe it is dangerous. Remember, a 6yr old may be speaking for you!